Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

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On another yet similar note I heard a speaker on the radio on Saturday (sorry I can't remember the name) say how, as Christians, we all like to be called servants but few of us like to be treated as a servant. He gave the example of how when he was scheduled to speak at a national conference he noticed on the printed schedule with all of the other speakers it gave their PH D's and other credentials but for him it only had his name. He felt slighted because he too had the same education as these other guys. Then he was convicted of his pride in wanting to get the credit that he deserved and realized that servant hood is just something that we do but it is an attitude of selflessness.

It really struck me with my own life. I don't like to be treated like a servant. It is one thing to do an act of service out of the "kindness of my heart" but it really grates me to be treated like a servant. It wounds my self worth I suppose. I think when I do an act of service voluntarily I am still in control, but when I am treated poorly like a servant I feel out of control and devalued.

Jesus humbled himself to not only wash the feet of the disciples but then to allow himself to be handed over to the Jews by Judas and then to the Romans by the Jews, to be beaten, spit on, mocked and crucified. Jesus "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant..."

Perspective

I haven't had much to say lately. Been a little dry, a little busy, a little sick... I will say this though. I have noticed a pattern in my personal life that the closer I am to God the more of a sinner I realize I am, the farther away from God the more of a "good guy" I think I am. Of course at either position I would tell you the same with my mind and my lips, that "I am a wretched sinner undeserving of anything good, thank God for his mercy and grace." But during the time that I am more distant from my savior the less I feel the above statement in my heart or live it with my life.

I think this pattern is probably true for everyone. Scripture shows at least two incidents that I can think of right off. The first is of Isaiah when he finds him self caught up in the temple of God in Heaven and when he sees the Lords glory he falls down on his face and says:

“Woe is me! For I am undone, because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for my eyes have seen the King, Yahweh of Armies!” -Isaiah 6

Then again when Jesus has just finished preaching to the masses from Peters boat and then upon Jesus' word Peter catches so many fish that the boat begins to sink...

But Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, Lord.” Luke 5:8

The other day I was driving past a Raytheon building, like I do at least 4 times a day almost everyday. Only this time I saw something I had never noticed before... the little tiny doors on the side to get in. I realized that the building is set farther back from the road then I had previously thought and the doors gave me perspective as to how big the building really was compared to a person. It was much bigger than I realized, not ginormous or anything but what I thought was a 2-3 story warehouse was actually closer to a 5-6 story warehouse.

Sometimes I see myself a lot bigger or better than I really am and then I catch a glimpse of God, gain some perspective and see just how small I really am in comparison to him.